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Parades are all about fun and fantasy. Who wants to confront reality on a sun-splashed holiday morning?
That's why there are some floats you won't see in America's Thanksgiving Parade as the annual extravaganza works its way down Woodward Avenue today, with its hopeful theme of "So much to believe in!" for Detroit and Michigan.
For example:
• The Emergency Manager Float: A joint effort of the cities of Ecorse, Benton Harbor and Pontiac, this bare-bones float started out top-heavy but was whittled to manageable size -- with an ax.
• The New International Trade Crossing Float: Gov. Rick Snyder is slowly pushing this one along, but it's a struggle. The wheels keep getting stuck on stacks of money placed in the way by Ambassador Bridge owner Matty Moroun.
• The Kwame Kilpatrick Float: Texas-sized but built entirely with Detroit money, this one races along trying to stay ahead of a pack of federal bloodhounds.
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Editorial: Parade floats you won't get to see The Upper Peninsula Float: Joined by a bridge to the Lower Peninsula float, features one guy in a Stormy Kromer hat (flaps down) shoveling a mountain of snow, pausing only to throw pasties into the crowd. • The Gov. Rick Snyder "Reinvented Michigan ... |
The fast track to the slow lane
So I flap and prattle away until it dawns on me that nobody, including me, is really interested. Desperate times call for desperate measures. “And Mirabelle,” I add, “is now fully potty-trained.” “Jolly good,” whispers Kate, with a thin smile. ...
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Get your body in shape before you hit the slopes Mother Nature has a mind of her own. Bring a headband or hat with you to the slopes, 60 percent of heat-loss is through the head. Wear gloves or mittens. Mittens are usually better for those susceptible to cold hands. Wear sun protection. ... |